Cut me Loose

Alright. So here i go. Lately, I've been realizing, knowing, feeling, that as I grow older, the more I lose, more is lost, more is gone. It's such a let down knowing that it's happening to me. Because I don't want to lose them in my life. It just happens, I want to make things work out for me, but it seems like it's just meant to happen. I realize I'm losing my friends. All the friends I've had before are still there, but not how they were before. I miss them so much because I miss them. Being with them allows me to behave the way I am. They make me who I am. But without my friends, I'm just a person living on earth with nothing to hold on to. Nothing to laugh for, and nothing to get excited for. Yes, we might have our own significant other, but it's not like your significant other makes you behave the way you really are with your friends. My friends are far away, when we talk, it's great because there's no awkward gap or whatsoever, but it just sucks that you can't be around them when you instantly want to. Not like how it was before. Like i said earlier, as I grow older, the more I lose. It's not lost because there was a fault, but lost because of the circumstances. If only I could have them where I am, it's not an act of selfishness, but I'm a guy that wants to keep all his friendships alive, strong, and continually growing memories. You know what, I try as much to keep those bonds strong, but it's hard to keep it strong when the other side can't make it happen. It's just so dragging to do, and you come to realize it won't mean much if the other doesn't try. I just miss you. I miss those times of hanging out. I think I'm getting lonely, I don't want to get older with friends i just barely met. What the hell is that? I can't really be satisfied with that. It's just a substitute not good enough to live on. Lately my weekends have been good, but it would be better with friends I truly am comfortable with. College friends? They are fake, their culture is just so...i don't know, maybe two-faced? Good friends I have here, they're somewhere else in a different country, or either too busy with their other plans. Like I said, I try to make it happen, but the other side can't. I just miss my friends, I miss being with them. If things don't get better with them later on this year, then probably it would have to be my turn to be the "other side". I miss you all, I need that solid time with you all. I'm happy right now, but I would be happier with my friends right now.

It is what it is

I am going to love you the longest I can

L is for the Love we share
O is for the One woman i want to be with
V is for the Very true love i give to you
E is for Everything you are to me

P is for the Puzzles you put me through
R is for the Rock n Roll times we've had
I is for the Interesting times we find out about each other
S is for how Sweet & Sexy you are
K is for Keeping me no matter what I do
A is for the Adoration that you give me.

Going to the end, and back

-Written on August 6th, 2007-

Each day is a new start. A new opportunity for the day. A blessing for a forgotten soul. Those three sentences don’t apply to me That is for those who see the world as a perfect place. Yes I get a new day, is it a blessing or an opportunity? It’s not easy to say so. I can’t seem to get the direction in my life. It’s taking me nowhere. I don’t know what direction to take. Is it because of future opportunities it will not bring me? Or because it is not the blessing I’m looking for? I don’t know! I hate this life for giving me this bullshit. Every freakin day I can’t stick to one decision. I’m always rethinking every night if it’s right or wrong! I hate it! It fucks me up! Every day it gets harder. Because time is being used up. I feel my head should blow up because of so much debate in my mind. I’m serious, it hurts to think about my situation. I feel bad for myself and my family. I shouldn’t be here to watch them suffer my pain.

I dont mind living a short life. If it ends tomorrow, I’d be happy to finally say goodbye to all of you. I don’t want to live anymore. Not this life, not any life in any lifetime. I can’t undo my mistakes. I can’t change my history. I can’t stand the fact I’m so behind with my education. I dont even know what i want in life. I don’t know what I want to do in my life. I might as well leave this world.

I don’t want to think for myself or anyone. My head hurts. The thought of my problem gets bigger than the problems of the government. It’s a shit life in a shit environment. Fuck…I die as I breathe. As I breathe it gets deeper. The deeper it goes, the harder it gets to be pure. I can’t be saved.

"The right dosage of fakeness"

A few weeks ago, me and my chickass were just chilling on juice and ice cream (I know right?!). And i kinda kicked-off the topic of a particular person being fake. The problem is, the person we were talking about was too fake. Like...gay fake and all its fakeness that comes along with it.
I know we all have our two-faced thingys going on (dont deny it), but there's always a limit as to how far we go with being fake. Personally, im fake to those i know who are fake to me, and of course the unwanted people we wanna be around. But the fake of all fakest person i was talking about with my friends was soo fake. Like....the person would wanna hangout with you, but yet he/she back stabs you. How fake is that? Kinda irritating, but I think that person is going to be such a sad person. I think that faker is just insecure about his/her well-being and cant be content with whats around the person. We all can be fake, but we all need "the right dosage of fakeness". If not, then you aint being true to yourself and the others around you.

Keep it real, don't be fake. For God's sake!
RHYMED!!

Who is Who?

Which is Katy Perry(artist) & Zooey Deschanel (actress)?

A














B



























Which is Brian "Head" Welch (former member of rock band, Korn) & Caleb Followill (Vocalist/guitarist for, Kings of Leon)?


A





















B

That far away girl

The opening was '09 was great. I spent a week with her, as in, each freakin day, hour, minute, second, millisecond, u get it. You might be thinking, why is spending a week with that far away girl so great? Because when my whole family is back home, i rarely have the chance to meet that girl, we'd be meeting like once a month, or even longer than a month. When I got the chance to be with her everyday, it was great cause the vibes were filled with happiness, electricity of excitement, and fulfilled smiles all throughout. Also, one night, i stayed over at her area. Camped out in my car, I thought it would be easy to sleep in a car, but it wasn't. Because it gets hot inside, and I'd rather not sleep in a car with its AC switched on. And in that night, lets just say I had an adventure from moving venue's. All in all, it was great, that week with her was great! There's no moral obligation in this note, just me sharing how much I enjoyed that week. And that camp out at her area, I've never done that for any girl. So it was a cool experience.
Now its back to reality, after that whole week being with her, I've only seen her once this month. It's hard living far apart, but theres always a way to make it work out. Hopefully I'd spend another week with her soon. Let's just see what happens next to me and that far away girl.
Cyazzz

Hot & Cold

It's like a kid lost his favorite blanket and can't sleep
A hole that needs you to make me whole
I can't say that I'm lost without you, I'm just misled without you
Confusion asks a lot, but isn't that better than always knowing it directly?
I Guess the distance is probably the only thing killing us
Your movements echo that I have seen, the real thing
The phone rings, I know its not you, but inside of me i hoping its you
I'm walking after you, but will you walk with me?
We don't pair up like salt and pepper, fries and ketchup...
But being beer and bubble gum is better
We wont like everything about the beer and the bubble gum, but we still love it
You know how to fizz me up just right, I know how to make your sweetness last