Morning view

i miss mornings like this. wanting to wake up early just to see the sun and look as far as you can. where time is on your side because not everyone has a chance to do this each waking day. sad to leave you.

Did I mention that I am a Lomographer?

my lomographs

I wish I knew

"I love you for who you are and not who you wish you were
My love for you is enough to keep us together
I can't complain of where we are right now
I'm glad you're with me, I don't know what my life would be like if it wasn't for you
You don't have to say anything, words can't explain this feeling
There's nothing about you I'd change, that's why I fell in love with you
Days are clearer knowing you're in my life
I don't want to leave you, that would be insane
I love you"

Looking back on the love I've shared, it was not close to that paragraph.
I'm certain that I've said each of those lines, and I was only being honest. But then, over time they just peel apart and it's hard to put it back into its place.
I thought those words meant what they were, but then thing's just change, and there was no control over it.
It was not in my power to do so because it shouldn't be. Love should not be manipulated, only genuine. I think when love comes, everything should just fall into its place. I'm waiting for that time to come. As much as possible, I don't want it to be moments. I want those moments turned into something that I can have. Not something that I'd look back on and say, that was the time of the relationship where everything just felt so right.
If only it was that easy, right? I guess its the journey we have to embark on to reach a love which is truly shared by two and untouched by another. To find love which makes a man and woman want to be with each other for the rest of their life, and more importantly, they know that it is meant for them.
Happiness is a goal for almost everyone, and at this time, I hope we all are. I'm smiling.

Nailed to the ground...

A bum right now, not by choice...or maybe it is. Fucking hell I have to wait til next September to start my senior year and get my degree. I'm not doing anything right now, except being me and all that comes with me. Ever since I got back from my short vacation, I was ready and excited to being back home. Days went by, I got to catch up with my friends, have some good conversations and just had a nice time being with friends. I was going to look for a job, but since it turns out that my sister wants to take me to where she's living, I decided not to look for a job because it would be at an awkward time. So hopefully i get my ticket by the end of this month to visit my sister. In the month of December I'll be going back to the Philippines to celebrate Christmas and new year. And "they" said I might have a chance to visit my brother in Canada in the month of January. So I'm thinking I'll be back in Jakarta around February. Sounds good for the moment, but let's see how it pans out.
Last night I was hanging out with my friends, just chilling at a friends dorm after watching a movie at the mall. I wanted to stay a little longer, but turns out, my family was already looking for me. And I didn't get to reply/call back their buzzes thanks to my very loud and strong vibrating phone.
Next day, my mom got home from doing whatever she does in the morning, I look at her, and she goes, "WHAT? YOU! WHAT TIME DID YOU GET HOME?!" I explained myself calmly because I had nothing to hide from what I was doing last night. She's pissed off because apparently I did not tell her where I was going, indeed I did, thus making me confused on why she has to get built up on asking me questions. Then she goes, "well you have to let your dad know where you are going, not just me." So...ummm...it seems like my dad and mom don't talk about me. Why the hell do I have to go through both of you? Aren't you married? Isn't letting one of you know good enough? Anyway, I let my mom know my plans tomorrow, immediately she says I have to let my dad know. I know that, I was just letting you know first because you're right here already. Before my mom left off to go and do whatever busy errands she has, I ask for some cash. I gave her my reason why I need cash, because she asked. She gave me a bill and says that it will do till next week. I protest at how much I'm given, some fucking joke? That's not going to last till next week. That amount only lasts for an hour. So she added a few more, and I'm just like fuck it, I'll take it. And then the never ending complains come running in from her mouth. "You've got to save on money. You're always going out and spending money. Why don't you try and make us (mom and dad) happy?" The last sentence was delivered in a shrinking voice. But I heard that, isn't that the sweetest thing coming from a mother?! I just replied, "So I don't make you happy...ok."
It sucks. It really sucks hearing those words. I've been doing so well in my studies, and this is what I get. I'm not fucking around and causing trouble, and in their minds they think I am. All I'm doing is just having a good time with my friends. And the good time I'm having is just pure clean fun, nothing which would get me or my family in trouble or panic. My mom insists on associating money with friends. Fucking hell, you don't put a price tag on you're friends. The money you have does not represent the friends you have. Friends are not bought. My mom and dad also hates the fact that I come home late. Again, there is nothing wrong with what I do when I'm out. For christs sake I'm 21 years old, yet they look at me as some young teenager just realizing what's out there in the world. I just hate that you don't let me be me, I hate how the money you give me is covered in complaints, I hate how I can't be who I really am. Shit, if I could, I'd be living on my own and not give a damn on what you say. Why can't I have my space? Why can't you understand that I am responsible? I really thought I was doing alright for you, but nothing I do is ever enough for you to be happy. You don't love me for who I am, you love me just because I am your son. So you probably don't know who Chino is. All you know is the guy trapped in your house. I'm so tired of trying to please you, I'm so tired of hearing how you want me to be your child. Don't you get tired of repeating yourself? If only you would just let me be, I'd probably...I know I would be much happier.
Cheers to that!

Mr.Please-hear-me-out-let-February-be-my-time

Dear Mr.To-Whom-It-May-Concern,

Please let me leave for UK on February 2010
Please don't let me wait till next year
Please don't let me start my senior year in September of 2010
Please let the possibility of February be 99.9%
Please don't make me look for an internship, a job without a bachelors degree
Please let me have two options for a university in February
Please please please don't make this a false hope

The reason why I want, sorry, need to start on February is because I want to get my degree as fast as possible. I don't want to wait until September of 2010 because I'm afraid it'll ruin the flow of my concentration in education. If February is not possible, I'd have to look for a job because I don't want to be doing nothing, and i don't want to burden my parents. I'm not sure if my chances are high of looking for a job, especially at this age of recession. If possible, let me go to Northumbria because I don't have to take an IELTS test. Also, may northumbria have a good course available for the February intake. If it has to be Leeds, then I'd have to take an IELTS test, but I don't mind, just as long as it lets me start in February. Just for the record, this is the first time...first time in a long time wherein I'm asking for something positive from my education.

Please let it be February
Please hear me out
Please make it happen

Thank you for your time

Sincerely,
Mr.Please-hear-me-out-let-February-be-my-time

Rice Crazy

Rice Crazy, a literal translation for "Nasi Gila"

Saturday Morning
1:30am - craves for food, craves for street food, craves for food other than fast food
1:31am- its still pouring outside, steps out for some air
1:35am - blurts out "Dayum I'm hungry" Karl goes, *you wanna eat gesture, with matching arm movements as if holding a spoon and fork, and wears a big smile
1:40 - we hit the spot, the man is still serving to people, and we know that the food has got to be good

Here we go!
And so we decide to have our Rice Crazy! i mean, our Crazy Rice!
The rice which is crazy and makes us crazy for rice!

This was different from all Nasi Gila's I've ever eaten. The rice was white, usually it is served similar to Fried rice with added toppings which is crazy! Like sausages, fish balls, egg, occasional shrimp, and it goes on! So I'm thinking to myself, each area in the city has their own twist to Rice Crazy or Crazy Rice or the rice which is crazy and makes us crazy for rice!
Me and my bro finally sink our mouth into the spoon filled with street goodness (with the cooks dirt all over the kroepek which he grabs a handful and places it on our plate).
I had not much clue on what was on my plate because of the low lighted area. But it was good, oh sooo goood!
As soon as I was done with my food, I asked my bro if he was down for another round, and another round of Crazy Rice or Rice Crazy or the rice which is crazy and makes us crazy for rice!
This time, it was a tad bit spicier than the first plate, but whatever was in there was even more juicier, succulent, it was like a plate of soft pillows which you wont want to leave.
That is how good the rice which is crazy and makes us crazy for rice! ummm...you get what I mean!
That satisfied my crave for street food, good quality street food. Till now I'm still burping its glory!

Just because the cook looks ghetto, don't underestimate the food.
If the light comes from an old-skool lamp, then the brightness is in the ingredients.
Lastly, walk if you have to get your fill of good food!

its been awhile

its been so long since i've written anything.
i wanna write, but nothing really to write about.
so this will be a little start off to the get off
weird